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Note: we've been kind of busy for the
last five years making a DVD, getting a Grammy Nomination
(yes, we're bragging) and getting our music special on
PBS, so we haven't had a chance to update the testimonials
for awhile -( but we do have new exhibits on line as
of 2010!). Please enjoy these ... we'll update with
more testimonials as time permits. Please join the
Burnt
Food Museum Facebook Fan page for more frequent
updates.
The Soy Pups spoke to me of man's eternal
inhumanity to man. I wept, I smiled, I had heart palpitations.
(S. - 4/9/03)
---o0o---
Deborah, You are a goddess. Just saw your
work on the Food Network and you warmed the cockles of
my heart (whatever those are). Growing up, my mom burnt
everything. I had no idea how cool that was until tonight.
You have healed my soul, thank you. Keep up the fine work,
(K.C. - 10/1/02)
---o0o---
Sir & Ma'am - I must congratulate you
on the presentation of such seminal works as displayed
on your website, I only can aspire to producing such definitive
pieces.
Whilst I have never had the need to identify myself as
an artist and researcher in the field of Carbonized Carbohydrates
(my results speak most eloquently for themselves) I feel
the general public -- and perchance my family -- may pay
more respect and attention to my endeavours were I to
possess a protective garment as described.
Do forward details of their prospective availability at
your convenience.Regards (M.)
---o0o---
It really strikes a note as, in grade school
when they asked what peoples mothers did for a hobby,
I said "My mom burns pots." I think I am one
of the privileged few to witness their mom in safety glasses
using a metal stripper to whack burnt gunk off a pot!
(MB - 6/23/03)
---o0o---
I am happy to see that I am not alone in
the world when it comes to culinary endeavors that have
experienced, for a lack of a better term, a metamorphosis.
I was also thrilled to see the art that arises from utensil
neglect. I have a cutting board that is permanently etched
with the impression of a burner ring. Of course, it is
a limited edition ... Just to let you know that art exists
which unintentionally mimics burnt food: In the shoe department
of our department store there used to be "blackened"
wall sculptures that my daughter said were very reminiscent
of my cooking.
Your site is too much fun! I would love to contribute
some artifacts, let me know. (J in Michigan - 3/30/03)
(However, don't ask me to relive the goldfish bowl on
the stove experience)
[Editor's note: but of course I had to ask]
Several years ago my daughter had two goldfish,
Christian and Dior, aptly named for our favorite pastime,
shopping and fashion. For some reason I put the fishbowl
on top of the stove. You have to understand that most
of the time my stove is off, and virtually unused. There
is no grease in my kitchen, grease would mean that I had
cooked something. I usually moved the fish when I turned
on the burners, which was mostly to boil water. On this
occasion I turned on the oven instead, but forgot to move
the fish ... Sad to say we had "bouillabaisse,"
by the time I returned. Poor fishies ... I felt horrible,
being an animal lover. I still don't know why I chose
to put them on the stove. Maybe they did not coordinate
with the colors in my living room, who knows. (J. in Michigan
- 4/1/03)
---o0o---
How can we submit something to your museum?
This morning we awoke to very strong "burnt"
smell in the house. When we got down to the kitchen we
noticed that the microwave door was open, and there was
plastic stuck to the bottom of the turntable. We questioned
our 14-year-old son concerning this. It seems that last
night he attempted to make Kraft macaroni and cheese as
a late-night snack. The charred remains were in his room
as he attempted to hide the fact. Never mind he couldn't
have possibly hidden the tell-tale smell. The Is there
a possibility of submitting such an item to you? (S.B.)
[Editor's note: click here for Kruncheroni
& Cheese]
---o0o---
"I thought you might enjoy one of mine
- alas, no pictures exist, though. I put a turkey into
the oven on ultra-low (low temp overnight is my usual
way of doing this, makes it very tender and moist) and
promptly went into early labor. I spent six days in the
hospital flat on my back until they got it stopped, was
sent home with orders to stay in bed until I was supposed
to have the baby, and walked in to find what appeared
to be a perfect (though blackened) paper-maiche' model
of a roast turkey, still cooking away. When we tried to
throw it out it was perfectly mummified and crumbled to
the touch. Even the bones, which appeared to be modeled
out of a crumbly powder-like substance, possibly cornstarch.
We decided that this piece would have more artistic meaning
if it was of an ephemeral nature, and threw it out. (S.
7/29/03)
---o0o---
[And on that same theme...]
"Attached is evidence of what happens
when the thermometer you are using with your deep-fryer
malfunctions. Apparently, cooking turkey at a bazillion
degrees is not recommended." (D.O. - 7/17/03)
[Click
here for the evidence but please note Editor's advisory:
I was kind of a vegetarian before I saw this photo -
now I'm REALLY one!]
---o0o---
And people thought I was nuts when I displayed
6 chile peppers that I put on the grill to roast, drank
3 beers after a LONG day at work, layed down...well I'm
sure you can guess the rest... I had them for about 2
years and believe it or not, I threw them away just last
week... I had them on the counter with an ear of corn,
shaped like a foot ... That, and a potato shaped like
a heart ...But the peppers are (were) my favorite. (DW
- 10/13/02)
---o0o---
Dear Ms. (oh rats, forgot, I'm sorry, be
right back) Henson-Conant,
Thank you SO much for providing us inept chefs and their
offspring with the Museum of Burnt Food website. Oh to
have had a camera at the ready when my mother prepared
venison jerky...and took a long nap. You've brought back
wonderful memories of my dear departed mother and her
vivid attempts at culinary uh...feats? The time she boiled
a giant pot of cranberries (how DID she get the white
ceiling turned red you ask? I have no clue but I remember
we had to repaint). The time she made a fish chowder so
bad even the cats wouldn't eat it ... I hope one day to
be able to add my own inept contribution to your museum.
Thank you, (S.S. - 3/30/03)
---o0o---
I recently did $10,000 worth of damage to
our kitchen making a round of Soy Taquitos (the oil splattered,
the smoke alarm didn't go off!...no one was hurt!). Do
you have T-Shirts? (anonymous - 10/3/02)
---o0o---
"We here at Heritage House Museum feel
that there should be a separate exhibit for culinary creations
- suitable for the museum - that have been burnt using
heritage techniques. Our 1860's bake oven is more than
capable of matching any creation from a standard oven
or microwave! If you would like any samples, they appear
regularly. Why, just yesterday, we had burnt cookies.
Burnt tea biscuits are popular with our visiting senoirs
groups. So you can see that there is a rich, and untapped
source for your museum. We would love to hear from you,
keep up the good work! (The staff at Heritage House Museum,Smiths
Falls, Ontario, Canada - 7/23/03)
[Editor’s Note: We used to link to
a picture of their kitchen, but it's not online anymore]
---o0o---
Saw the piece on "Un-wrapped Food",
and loved your creative ideas on
what to do with burned food. I run a senior meal program,
and would love to
be able to purchase one of your aprons. (M.B. - 4/28/03)
[No problem! Just click
here for aprons ]
---o0o---
What a surprise to have on the "Food
Network" last night, and discover the hysterically
funny piece on the Museum of Burnt Food! We had been told
that we should watch "Everone/Everbody? Loves Raymond",
as we have never seen it......and needed to know what
all the fuss was about......WELL.... The show started
out with such canned laugher, (YUK) that we opted instead
to proceed to our old standby, "The Food Network"......only
to find ourselves really laughing with your segment. But
perhaps the best for me, was.......that you are the person
who performs at a good many of our "non-burnt"
dinner parties. I adore your "Budapest" CD,
which I have had a couple years!!! What a wonderful coincidence.
And the long colorful "locks" you adorned in
the television piece, are really wonderful. Different
from the look on your CD, certainly. (S.C.- 10/1/02)
---o0o---
Well, well, I thought I was totally alone
in the "gack gack gacking on the phone" and
forgot about my stuff on the stove!! I was making shredded
boiled beef, for enchiladas. I had a small amount of water,
1# of beef, onions, jalapeno, and spices, in a covered
pan on HIGH, and walked outside to call 9 women for a
Bunco party... and boiled the HELL out of it! At least
the lid on the pan kept the flames from happening! The
whole house was full of smoke... the smell was horrible
..... I just heard about your "Burnt Museum"
on Unwrapped... otherwise, I would have sent you the 1"
thick charred meat. Thanks for making me feel like I am
not alone burning something! (G.W. - 1/27/03)
---o0o---
[How many people do you know get emails
like this:]
We have a burned pot pie that has been in the oven for
over a month... Would you like us to mail it to you? (D.
- 7/10/03)
---o0o---
I heard you needed cookies ...I got 12 purfectly
burnt cookies if you want them (anon. - 1/28/03)
---o0o---
Last night I boiled water for tea in my
small T-Fal Pot, I then got involved in a sewing project.
I started to smell something burning and thought I had
overheated the sewing machine. I shut the machine, but
still smelled the burning and remembered my tea water.
The pot was ruined and I boiled water in my microwave.
This morning, on my way to the trash can with the pot,
I remembered I had seen the Burnt Food Museum on the television
show Unwrapped. I was wondering if you accept exhibits,
and if you would be interested in my pot. (M.R. - 12/1/02)[Editor's
Note: that very pot sits on our shelf now]
---o0o---
I saw your segment on Unwrapped this week.
I haven't laughed that hard in a loooong time. Brilliant.
It made me wish I was a bad cook, so I could contribute
an installation to the museum. Although now that I think
of it, I do tend to burn cookies. Hmmm. You might be hearing
from me soon. Take care, (J - 10/2/02)
---o0o---
I justsaw the segment on "Unwrapped"
on FoodTV about your museum. I was THRILLED to see the
"free-standing apple cider" because I DID THE
SAME THING several years ago. By the time I noticed the
smoke coming out of the kitchen, the pot was bone dry.
It looked just like yours -- a black, evil-looking, porous
rock! I feel so much better -- I'm not the only person
who made a stovetop meteorite out of apple cider. But
mine would not come out of the pot. I tried everything
to clean it, even chipped at it with a chisel, and finally
ended up throwing the pot out. But now I see I should
have hung it on the wall and considered it an achievement
in food art. Great idea. (L in SF - 1/27/03)
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